This evening Athena sent me a list of games that are expected to launch on Kickstarter next year. Her suggestion was we'd both write a post featuring games we're furious about. A very original angle. I'm game.
Nevertheless, I must admit, a lot of creativity goes into these games. Kickstarter is still the place for independent designers to see their dreams realized, and for investing backers to enrich their lives and, in a small way, the world. I mean, where else can you find an epic narrative-driven high fantasy game where you work through a storybook like Soul Raiders. Brilliant. Or a sci-fi game with lots of minis, that has you adventure through a 10 episode campaign like Quantum Shock. I'm drooling. And these were just the first two I clicked on from a list of 50.
Only on Kickstarter. Ten every month. Dear God.
It went downhill from there.
Reprints, second editions, sequels. And the special cases that manage to be all three of these combined into one. I mean... 1815, Scum of the Earth... Call of Kilforth: A Fantasy Quest Game... How many times can you publish the same game where the only change is the decline of the kitschy artwork with each release. 2525, The Return of the Son of the Kilforth Spacelord. Please have mercy and let these series end.
Hoplomachus: Victorum. A reboot of the gladiator chips series by the company that brought us Triplock. Because years ago "There wasn't money for high level art (...) While we have since become the sort of 'Luxury/deluxe game company' in recent years, that wasn't the initial vision behind Hoplo." So, a fresh lick of paint and double the prices. $150 for the starter set, here we go. Sigh. Well, at least it's not a gladiator roll-and-write.
Rome & Roll: Gladiators. No! Aaaaaargh!
Speaking of which. Please deliver us from Dávid Turczi. When will we have just one month - just one month is all I'm asking - without his name on a Kickstarter product. If it were just his (co-)designs, okay. They can easily be ignored. Just a few made it into the top-2500 on BGG, and obviously not through solo buyers. But he gets invited to paste single player modes on everything. The man doesn't even like to play solo and it shows. He tries designing fake humans, the one thing computer games are objectively better suited for. The inevitable solo mode for an Italian city euro game next year is for Florence. I live in fear.
2021 is just another year. Let's have five hundred more minis, let's have deluxified reprints, let's have overpriced been-there-done-that boxes for the new generations. Fuck the FLGSs, we'll let them slowly fade. Fuck our backers, everything can be delayed. Fuck future players, they'll be too late.
Time for another round in the crowdfunding game.
What is game, who got game, where's the game in life?
Behind the game, behind the game
I got game, she's got game
We got game, they got game, he got game
It might feel good, it might sound a lil' somethin'
But fuck the game if it ain't sayin' nuttin'
Now, let's check if there's any overlap in our posts. Wait, what? Oh.