So Bored: August Crowdfunding Grumpy

August is boring. The whole editorial alphabet, from Athena to Zerbique, left the office for a Summer Break. 😞 I've dusted the laptops. Swept the floor. Emptied the trash. Boring. Then I started browsing through upcoming crowdfunding releases. What do you know? They're boring as well.

Stupid furry animals will go adventuring in the Lands of Galzyr, through a storybook that's two-thirds the size of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (as they ran out of inspiration a bit sooner than Tolkien I guess). Of course no one these days is going to read something like that, so they put the whole thing in an interactive website. "There is no need for bookkeeping with paper or pencil." Er, yes, that's one way to sell the dependency on a digital component.

Arydia: The Paths We Dare Tread is another campaign game where your decisions will matter, in an ever-changing world. How do they come up with this stuff? At least "an index system in the game" will keep track of your adventures, so you can still play it when the internet has been DDOSed out of existence by terrorists. Not that I want to play it. I'll read a book or play a decent RPG, thank you very much.

What else? Anyone fall asleep while watching wildlife documentaries on TV, like I do? If so, there's this game about making your own soporific film called Wild: Serengeti. It does have animeeples, so I was slightly interested for a few seconds, but they're not going to ship to the EU. Suit yourselves folks. I'll buy an Attenborough DVD instead.

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Huh? What? Oh man. Where was I?

Our monthly Turczi is Excavation Earth: It Belongs in a Museum. Nomen est omen. Not on your table, that's for sure. 🙄

Then we have the Bug Council of Backyardia. A trick-taking game with shifting suits, with a pasted-on theme. For solo you have to outsmart an automated enemy that uses randomly drawn cards. 🥱

Puh-lease. Okay. One more try. Dragons? Dragons! Oh.

Dragonbond: Lords of Vaala is yet another one of those multiplayer games that don't work at low player counts. So you can replace anybody who doesn't show up with an automated deck of cards. Until you - as the solo gamer - are done with it as well and replace yourself by the last AI from the box and check in the morning who has won.

You know what? I'm out of here as well. If anything interesting happens in August, just post it in the Lounge.