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  • Writer's pictureJW

May Hotness: Crowdfunding Grumpy

JW: Athena, you look flushed! You're sweating. Have you been working out?

Athena: No, I have a fever. I got my first vaccine dose yesterday. Astra Zeneca.

JW: Oh great! Wait... Astra Zeneca. Aren't you too young for that one? Isn't it dangerous?

Athena: I could die, yes.

JW: Wow. Can I have your games?

Athena: Thanks for being a hungry vulture. But sure.

JW: Cool. It would be a waste if they were thrown away.

Athena: Hmpf.

JW: So, ehm, I guess you're not really interested in discussing upcoming crowdfunding games, are you? At the end of your life, I mean.

Athena: Well, there's a chance that I survive the vaccine.

JW: Okay. But don't back anything this month, just in case. Unless you arrange that they be sent to my address.

Athena: Please stop being morbid and tell me what's launching.

JW: First of all, an expansion for Maximum Apocalypse. I know you love this game, but...

Athena: Yes, how can I not back it?

JW: I would wait for retail if I were you.

Athena: JW, you make my temperature rise!

JW: Ah, here's a game to cool you down: I C E. You dig through cardboard tiles of frost to find artifacts. It's a beat your own score, though.

Athena: It sure looks pretty. Anything else for my condition?

JW: Chai: Tea for 2. A hot beverage should help.

Athena: Not my cup of tea, thanks. Next.

JW: You gotta stay strong and fight the side effects, Athena. Vengeance: Roll & Fight!

Athena: You know that roll 'n' writes aren't my forte.

Image source: BGG

JW: Then check out Hoplomachus: Victorum. Arena fights, chips, you know the deal.

Athena: A very expensive deal, I assume.

JW: Yes, that's for sure. Anyway. Enough with violence. How about something cute and cuddly? Like pandas? And meerkats! Everybody loves meerkats. They're so funny.

Athena: Pilfering Pandas? "Set collection to earn points and escape from the zoo". Hm, doesn't sound very enticing but I'll take a look. I'm suddenly very tired.

JW: Oh, bummer I was just going to discuss construction work with you. Not the right time? In Squaring Circleville you gotta demolish and rebuild the roads in a city in Ohio. I love historical games. Also, it's hip to be square. And here's one for you: Prison Architect has you designing prison cells.

Athena: Yeah, I saw one of the cards. It says "Assignment: clean clothes, happy prisoners". I didn't know you could be happy in prison. All you need is detergent, apparently.

JW: It's probably an optional card. I think the goal is to have an efficient prison, not making the prisoners happy. That would be escapism.

Athena: Speaking of escapism. You love SF. Will you back On Mars: Alien Invasion?

JW: No, of course not. There are four scenarios that make up a story. The first plays one versus many, chapter two and three are co-op and the fourth is solo. They made sure absolutely no group of people will ever play through the whole story. Especially not me, myself and I. Madness.

Athena: You'll probably like the tableau building Aldabas.

JW: Nice! Pretty Colombian knockers.

Athena: Door knockers.

JW: Oh. Hey, look! Mechanical Beast. Winner of the 2019 Print and Play Contest. In which you try to deactivate a sentient robot that's gone rogue. Did you play it?

Athena: Nope. I don't like abstract puzzles.

JW: Oh, I do. I like everything. We never covered it? Let me try to play it before the end of May then.

Athena: Sure. Are we done? I'd like to get back to bed.

JW: I'll be backing One Card Dungeon. Won't it be fun to pay $30 shipping for 1 card?! I'm hoping for some original stretch goals here. Like stretching it to a huge 65 x 89 cm card.

Athena: I have 39 degrees fever now, JW, we've stretched my limits.

JW: Please go back to bed. Ehm, have you written down my address? For the games?

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3 Komentar

03 Mei 2021

Columbian knockers. Lol.


Cadet Stimpy
Cadet Stimpy
02 Mei 2021

Athena: I could die, yes.

JW: Wow. Can I have your games?


JW: Please go back to bed. Ehm, have you written down my address? For the games?

Damn, that was funny. 😄 I love Solitaire Times!

02 Mei 2021
Membalas kepada

I was literally LOL'ing at this part 🤣

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