Athena: I don't feel like doing a grumpy post. I don't feel like doing anything.
JW: Yeah, I'm bummed too. I have no idea if it's the lockdown, the winter darkness or that I'm burning out on Kickstarter. We should pick ourselves up though, this website is going to suffer. But how?
Athena: I don't know. Retail therapy? See if there's anything we want to back?
JW: (very unenthusiastically) Yes.
Athena: It used to help.
JW: (yawning) Yes.
Athena: Come on, there are over 15 solo games this month. There's bound to be something fun.
JW: Yes. I said yes.
Athena: I'll send you the list. Done.
JW: (deep sigh) Alright. Let's do this. (mumbling) Forest of Radgost. Minis, open world, storytelling... Ah. Found one. You're a sworn carnivore. Stroganov. Tasty?
Athena: Mmm, beef with a creamy mushroom sauce... I'll certainly take a look when it launches.
JW: Callico Critters COIN-wannabe Root will get yet another expansion. These are released with clockwork precision. I'll wait for the definitive big box release next year though. Root: Canal Procedures. You gotta admire their honesty. You know what you're in for.
Athena: You know who else is churning out expansions: Paladins of the...
JW: Stop! Careful. We don't promote the Cult of Shem on this website.
Athena: Oh, is that short for ShemHamephorash? That explains the uncanny success of the series.
JW: I don't really want to know. How about some edutainment? Roll & Rome: Gladiators.
Athena: Nah. Ancient Rome is boring.
JW: You're just jealous that they were more successful than your ancestors. But nevermind, let's go to the modern age. Oh. My. God.
Athena: What is it? Why did you turn pale?
JW: Look. Factory Floor takes tile laying to a new low. I mean, tiling an actual floor? Seriously?
Athena: Why not? Don't you know Deck Building: The Deck Building Game? This one is also about planning the office spaces and connecting workstations to the local network.
JW: (sobbing softly) I did not leave my former job for this. I want to be a hero, not a facility manager.
Athena: There, there. I have just the thing for you. Lawklivya: Vengeance should be fun. Worker placement-tower defense with animals. Upgrade your castle and defenders, then fight off enemies. You like?
JW: (blows his nose) Thanks. Yes. No. Ehm. Not enough info to tell. I don't understand if you need to manage four castles in solo, or just one. If it's four, that may be too complicated for me, if it's one I'll miss out on the interaction.
Athena: We'll find out. At least we're getting closer. Here! You love dungeon crawlers, how about CoraQuest?
JW: It sure looks to be aimed at me. At first I liked their non-pretentiousness. But I think they're actually looking down on us, comparing those who love to crawl with little children. Especially if you compare it with the rest of the trilogy, Cora World: Empires and Cora World: Nemesis. I think they're a bunch of elitist euro-centered eggheads.
Athena: It's Core Worlds.
JW: Nah, they would have called it Core Quests then. And they can stick their pretentious Empires euro in their puny primordial black hole.
Athena: *Rolls eyes* So, what are you going to back this month, then? Nothing?
JW: Oh, I know! Our favourite game will get a cards-only version. I was a bit bummed by the name though. Terraforming My Arse: Expedition?
Athena: I can't be arsed probably. This can't be better than the original.
JW: Who am I kidding. Those Fryx brothers know me too well. The first thing I'll be doing when Mass Effect Legendary edition gets released this spring, is send a probe to Uranus.
Athena: This discussion is over.